I enjoy the dialogue. But you see my reticence of engagement as a lack of interest. Which isn’t true. For example. I would love to have an in depth conversation with you about evolution. I would love to hear what it means to you, how you believe it works and the details about where the dinosaurs came from and then went. But it wouldn’t mean I believe any of it. Could God have utilized evolution to create man, sure. But I do not believe that He did. But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t be intrigued by your thoughts on the topic.

More pertinently, I have been waiting for you to ascribe positively to some position or another spiritually. Or the lack there of. To hear you state that there is no God. Or that there is, but we cannot know him. This would be interesting to me. There are several commentators that have asserted a positive here, and I have found that fascinating. But I am sure you found my responses myopic and ignorant. Ok. I receive that criticism. Or maybe you see me as treating the opiner as ignorant, or I treat them pedantically? Maybe. I don’t know.

It’d be like someone coming to you… as you sit in your comfy chair surrounded by Swiss Chocolate, and telling you that you have to come quickly that they have found this thing called Hersheys Chocolate. And you, knowing fully well what Hersheys chocolate is, that you will listen to them opine about said chocolate. You will hear them extol the virtues of it’s waxiness and thin equivalent to real chocolate. And you will let them know that you are happy for them. Then you turn and say, could I interest you in some Swiss Chocolate? Nestle perhaps? Or Milka? And they say, SWISS WHAT? Did you not just hear me? Hershey’s!

This example proves the myopicness of which you speak. And I willingly admit this. Yes, this is a failing of mine. I cannot see past the amazingness of the grace that I have been given. It is difficult. And so to hear some tell of their transcendental meditation and their Buddhist insights… ok. I will listen. I will try and learn. I do want to understand what this does for you. Or how it works. The logic of it. I have open calls out to Atheists to come and talk about their belief, or lack there of, to chat on the blog. I would give you a podium to tell your story or to let me interview you about your thoughts and insights about religion and about what happens when we die. With no strings attached. But yeah, it’s difficult for me to truly give space in my brain for spiritualism that discounts God or a need for God. I readily admit this.

You have been telling me over and over again, it’s like David Foster Wallace’s amazing commencement speech Wallace gave at Kenyon college. He tells the story of two fish swimming, and an old fish swims by and says, “How’s the water?” and the two fish look at each other and say, “What’s water?” (Amazing speech by the way, highly recommend finding it and reading it.) This is what you are accusing me of. I get it. And yet, you’d like me to divorce my thought from the one thing that I will not detach from. Even from a theoretical point of view. I cannot and I will not. I would like to think that I am educated and enlightened by hearing various opinions. But I won’t be swayed as to my belief in God. You have decided that the Bible is a fraud. I have not. I see it as a divinely inspired work. And you see it as a crock. Ok. You have cited references to evidence that you believe proves many of the Bible’s authors are forged and frauds. I disagree.

I have done my own word study analysis of the Greek simply to understand authorship all the more. I highly doubt Ehrman has even done that. The thumbprint of language usage is highly characteristic of particular authorship. You accuse me of living my father’s faith. You do not know this but I am basically a prodigal to my own father. We do not talk. You accuse me of not doing my own study, and my own research. My walk through the Bible is the heartbeat of this original research. I read, I grapple, I write. Yes, I sound like I can only ardently defend, but that is because I see the central thread of God’s grace running through the whole of the Bible. I listen to “learned” scholars decrying the ‘awfulness’ of the Old Testament, and the fraud of the New and I wonder if they’ve even read the work themselves? Or if they did, what was their agenda and why? (Here is the original atheist I was reading who was working through the Bible: https://heyguysitsthebible.wordpress.com/ if you are interested.)

But to say that I haven’t dug into the Bible is untrue. I have studied the details of the prophesies throughout the Bible and the fulfillment of how many have come true. I’ve studied the list and details of the numerous miracles listed throughout the Old and New testaments. I’ve studied the questions and the details of the conversations held with Christ. I’ve walked through every single time Christ stated He was God, intimated He was God, inferred it, etc. I have studied the various ways in which the Old Testament has hinted at the coming New Testament and the fulfillment of the new over the old. Heck, I’ve even been curious as to the stars and planets and how the correlate with the dates and times of the events of Christ’s birth, death, and resurrection. If it isn’t true, I of all people am to be pitied. (To quote Paul.) I want to know. I really do. But forgive me if I hear you belittle the authors of the New Testament and I shrug. Ok. But you are just quoting Bart Ehrman. Ok. He is quasi-interesting to me. But not compellingly so. But mainly because he has made it his life’s work to belittle and besmirch the Bible and christendom in any way that he can. He has already decided that it is false. And so he is just thrashing and looking for evidence wherever he can find it.

But tell me what you believe? And I’m all ears. Tell me how you believe in a Taoist thought structure of good and evil and that this is how the world works? And I’m all in. But you have yet to do that. You are interested in making fun of the Bible. Which is fine with me. But being able to state a positive is 100% different from tossing rocks. What do you personally believe? That we are cosmic dust, that we are gods, that we are just a cosmic accident? All of these are interesting… but only if you believe them. I’d like to understand why even more than the what. Why do you believe we are gods? Why do you believe that we have been reincarnated? What makes you think that we are an accident? I personally believe in God because I have this hole in my chest. But you are right. Not all people have this hole. (And the Bible literally talks about that, and the details of why that is, but I digress.) And that’s ok.

But regardless, your pushing me to think harder about my faith is good. I enjoy it. Your quips about my father’s faith makes me consider whether it is I have swallowed what he has told me in spite of my prodigal-ness. I really try and understand the reason as to why I believe what I believe as to just believing it. I enjoy the dialogue. I also enjoy the science of it, the physicalness of archaeology, the fact checking of it. I am not giving the Bible a pass. It needs to line up.

Anyway, I’ve written too long. But I must say, you push me to think. And that is good. I am dismissive because I found the Swiss Chocolate. But that is not ok. I need to hear about the Hershey’s. Maybe it isn’t Hershey’s but rather a Milka equivalent I have never heard of before. And I am sorry that I have not given it 100%. But please understand, you too have come with your prejudices. You have been hurt. This much is brutally obvious to me. You’ve been hurt by this God thing that I am into. And I am sorry about that. And I personally believe it is connected with your husband’s death. Which, I am incredibly sorry for. Incredibly sorry. This life is awful. Brutish. And short (to quote a fairly wise philosopher.) Which is true. It really is. But don’t let that from keeping you from trying the good chocolate.

“Taste and see that the Lord is good.” To steal a quote completely out of context. hahaha. Ned… my friend. I appreciate you. Our differences in respect to the eternal won’t get in the way of our friendship. But I would like you to have the good chocolate for once! Swiss chocolate doesn’t even compare to the trash that is American Chocolate! haha sorry. This is truth, in spite of the spiritual overlay that I am applying to it. hahaha.

You cannot see that you are projecting your religious convictions onto others by thinking everyone suffers a “hole in their heart” like you do. I’ve had plenty of challenges like everybody else but personally do not feel there’s been a continual hole in my heart—or that, if I suffered so, is reason enough to believe in a god.

There are many more kind people than lousy in the world and it’s through interactions with the living I’ve made it through tough times. Exercise and eating more vegetables helped, too haha!

Asking questions, studying a religion’s books, doesn’t imply a person is seeking answers because of some aching need within themselves but shows an intelligent, open curiosity.

Reading the Bible and New Testament gave me a different perspective— a “doubting Thomas” kind of result. When reading your Bible Experiment blogs, it seems written more as a platform for you to share the depth of your devoutness, convictions but the time and effort to expounding on such matters doesn’t inspire going back to church.

It may never occur to someone of god-related convictions they filter everything through a narrow tunnel vision of beliefs that it creates a vacuum where no other light pertaining to valuable knowledge may enter.

Like the Anonymous Atheist, I’m leaving a last Bible Experiment post on Haggai for the same reasons he/she quit. However, I enjoy the many topics you offer discussion under the Thinc site. You also write movie worthy short stories and books but a person has to sort of stumble on them on the website.

If for whatever reason your god might stop taking care of the “hole in your heart”, please don’t hesitate to email me, give a hello, because I quite like and care about you, my friend, for of that concern there’s no doubt.