Glitter Bomb an Enemy
I really should have been paying attention to my bosses when they were asking me important questions about compliance issues and various and sundry regulations within the web space. I see that now. I get it. But when I randomly stumbled on this website everything went tunnel vision. It is absolutely, one of a kind, brilliant.
Do you have an enemy that you’d like to get back at? Simple, head over to shipyourenemiesglitter.com and pay $9.99 Australian and have a packet of glitter shipped to them. Only thing better than the service is the website itself talking you through the process.
So pay us money, provide an address anywhere in the world & we’ll send them so much glitter in an envelope that they’ll be finding that s—everywhere for weeks. We’ll also include a note telling the person exactly why they’re receiving this terrible gift. Hint: the glitter will be mixed in with the note thus increasing maximum spillage.
I mean, is that not the epitome of brilliant? The only way that this could get any better is if there was an aerosol puff when the person opens the envelope. But, the fact that they are required to pull the note out guarantees that they are going to absolutely covered in glitter. This is a great plan. Very great. Unclear how the system works? Why don’t we read through the FAQ a bit?
What happens after I give you my money?
We’ll vomit up a tonne of glitter & put it in an envelope with your recipients address on the front of it. We’ll also include a note telling them how awful they are which will be folded within.
How much does it cost?
$9.99AUD for anywhere in the world. Come on, it’s Australian Dollars so it’s probably only a few bucks for you.
Why should I pay you to send glitter to someone I hate?
First off, use your ——– imagination. We’re going to be pouring a tonne of glitter into an envelope with a folded up piece of paper. You know what’s going to happen when that guy opens the envelope & pulls out the letter? The craft herpes will be released & will go everywhere.My recipient got glitter in both eyeballs, is now blind & would like to file charges. Help?
Heh.
I once did this to a friend of mine. But it was a bucket full of finely shredded confetti. I snuck up to his cube, and hefted. And oh it went everywhere. Just everywhere. Inside his keyboard, files, monitor, etc etc. I wasn’t caught. But about 2 hours later I was in a meeting with him and his boss and I was listening to him complain vehemently about the confetti-bomber.
And his boss was very very sympathetic. To the point where she was picking up the phone to call HR. Seriously. And so I jumped in. Guys, it was me. I say sheepishly. OOOOoooh. They both say. Well that explains it. And then they both laughed like it was the greatest joke they’d ever heard. Hrm.
Eventually in that meeting with my bosses I couldn’t hold in my laughter and I had to loop my bosses in, and next thing I know everyone is conspiring to ship me glitter bombs! On second thought, maybe I shouldn’t ship my friends or my enemies glitter. hehehe.
— Update —
Apparently the website was absolutely crushed by its own popularity and collapsed and died within about a day or two of my posting this. (No, not causally related.) But apparently there are others out there already that allow you to order these services. This video has a bit of intense frustration and excessive language in it. But it is pretty funny to watch all the same.
