Sometimes I surprise myself. Maybe it’s the 3rd month of quarantine. Maybe it’s the global pandemic and the hundreds and hundreds of thousands of lives lost to Covid-19. I don’t know. But when I tripped across this new rendition of Heather Hammers’ song I Still Love You I cried for the entirety of the run time. All of it. It just stopped me cold.
But I’m moving too quickly already. I originally stumbled on Heather’s music over on Reddit moons and moons ago. And so I reached out to her and asked (begged) for a quick little interview. Which, she was extraordinarily gracious to give me. You can read that interview over here. But it was her song, I Still Love You that just made me stop and reflect on lives lived and lost. People that have come, and people that have gone. It made me realize just how much out of dust we all really are…and if I can just live a life of still loving, I will be better for it.
Well, here was that original song that stopped me in my tracks a while ago.
Well, I’ve been listening to Heather’s music ever since. Every single song she sings, whether it’s a cover, or her own stuff, it’s always amazing. Anyway, the other day, when I tripped by her stream over on Youtube, I was shocked to find a new version of I Still Loved You!!
Man. Still blitzkriegs me. So swimmingly brilliant.
I was out on the lawn today, aerating, pulling dandelions, fertilizing, et al., and at one moment, I just sat agog at the brilliance of the world. I was thinking about how earthworms were aerating fields and lawns long before humans got clever enough to figure out what purpose it even solved. And I just sat and watched as bees were pollinating the flowers. The complexity of this world – the irreducible complexity of it all – is just so baffling to me. Not just the bee. Or the bee’s eyes. But of the complexity between the bee, the earthworm, and the dandelion. You know? Yeah, I need to get out more. But I’m being serious here. When was the last time you marveled at the gloriousness of the human voice? The emotive and creative powers that can affect others miles away. When was the last time you marveled at the power and glory of this life we are allowed to live? And when was the last time you chose to still love, even in spite of yourself?
Thanks Heather. Keep making music. And if you are interested in patreoning for Heather – please help a gal out. Or visit her bandcamp page – and buy all of it. I’m sure pandemics aren’t really great for musicians. I’m actually certain they aren’t. Reminds me of one of Heather’s answers to one of my questions – and it’s stuck with me since:
“I’ve always seen music as something that connects people. It makes us dance, makes us cry, helps us feel less alone. It has this way of reaching into us and pulling out the deepest, most raw emotions in a way that not many other things can. I guess when I say, “a warm and fuzzy, happy feeling,” I’m not actually talking about a perfectly content, sunshine and rainbows type feeling. As a matter of fact, most of my favorite songs ever are dark and hopeless and heartbreaking. To be dealing with these emotions and to listen to music that reminds you, for even just a moment, that you’re not alone is huge. I feel like that type of comfort isn’t too far off from warm and fuzzy.”
And after just tossing a heads up over to Heather about this post – she responded with literally the most gracious response ever:
Oh man, you have no idea how happy this email just made me. Thank you!! I love the article so much! All of your sentiments about the complexity of the world and the relationships between the earthworm, the dandelion, and the bee were wonderful. For most of my life, I have stopped to admire those types of things and contemplate them often…but lately, I haven’t done it as much. Your words were a little bit of a wake-up call to me, and I’m going to do my best to be much more intentional. The fact that something I wrote gave you all of those feelings just blows me away. And the fact that you shared them with the world means so much to me!
Hah. And here I thought I’d hammered back 4 too many Monsters and was having a bad trip! Well, maybe that too. But regardless.. Love you Heather – Keep making awesome and mind blowing music. Hope this finds you all doing well. And love on that person you are stuck with. And find a way to do something nice for someone you aren’t.
Edited by: CY