Me: “Hello. My name is Taylor… and I am a hardcore fidgeter.”
Everyone: “Hello Taylor.”
Me: “I’ve been sober for 12 seco… nope. 2, nope. …… hold on. 3. Not even. You get the idea. I have been a worldclass fidget-er, one who fidgets, oh great and mighty flicker of plastic, puller of threads, tumbler of tumbeness. Oh I fidget. I twitch. I click. I pick. I fidget. I’m a hardcore fidgeter. Lord Fidget to you. And I’m glad that I can find support here.
Everyone: “We love you Taylor.”
Me: “But now? Now that I know about Fidgetcube? I am unashamed, unabashed, in my outspoken fidgety-ness. But I contain it to this fidget-enabler. Now instead of scraping at my nails, and picking at my fingers in my wife’s ear, while we watch survivor, (totally fictional and theoretical use case) I fiddle with my Fidget Cube in my pocket, or on my own side of the couch.”
Everyone: “What is this Fidget Cube and how do we get one? Oh great Lord and Leader of the Fidget?”
Me: “Totally glad you asked. There happens to be a kickstarter running right now. Pledge a couple bucks? And voila, but Christmas your fidget worries and troubles will be over.
Me: “Now if only they could create one with some haptic feedback… LEDs… Blutooth? Ahhhh!”
