Best Christmas Movie Of All Time List. This is such a complicated discussion. What is the definition of a “Christmas Movie”? Great question… one that I don’t even know the answer to. But! You are doing a Christmas movie list?! Well, sure. But the list I am throwing at you today just illustrates the larger problem, and not a solution. Actually, it’s the messiness of the list that I’m most interested in. I mean, my historical selection for best Christmas movie has always t-boned the standard list of Christmas movie favorites.
Elf – This is a great place to start. A perennial favorite at Chateau du Holmes. The improbable setup is brilliant, and allows for all kinds of brilliant shenanigannary. Not my personal top o’ the list, but I’m not going to throw any shade if this is your particular favorite. Buddy, raised as an oversized elf on the North Pole, he travels from his home with Santa to New York City to meet his biological father, Walter Hobbs, who doesn’t know he exists and is in desperate need of some Christmas spirit. The fact that Hobbs is on Santa’s naughty list as an immoral children’s book publisher just sets the two at loggerheads against one another.
The Santa Clause – This, I think, is my own family’s go to Christmas movie. Divorced dad Scott accidentally kills a man in a Santa suit. And when he is magically transported to the North Pole, where an elf explains that Scott must take Santa’s place before the next Christmas arrives. Scott thinks he’s dreaming, but over the next several months he gains weight and grows an inexplicably white beard. Maybe that night at the North Pole wasn’t a dream after all — and maybe Scott has a lot of work to do.
Batman Returns – If Batman Returns isn’t a non-standard Christmas choice, I don’t know what is. Is a Christmas movie just set during Christmas? Hrmm. Good question. “Penguin takes Gotham hostage from the sewers and he teams up with Max Shreck in order to topple Batman. But when Shreck’s timid assistant, Selina Kyle (Michelle Pfeiffer), finds out, and Shreck tries to kill her, she is transformed into the Catwoman. Catwoman, Shreck, and Penguin all attack Batman to overthrow him. Ho-Ho-Ho!
Christmas Vacation – Definitely, without a doubt, the funniest film in this list. The story is about Clark attempting to have the PERFECT CHRISTMAS. Decorations, food, tree… everything needs to be perfect. But when Eddie, and his family show up unplanned and start living in their camper on the Griswold property things go upside down. Even worse, Clark’s employers renege on the holiday bonus he needs in order to get that family pool he’s promised the family. To fix this? Eddie takes matters into his own hands!
The Nightmare Before Christmas – Another dark Christmas selection, and an enormous hit among the emo croud. And it’s the second Tim Burton film on this list. Who knew Burton was such a big Christmas fan!? The film follows the misadventures of the pumpkin king, who’s become bored with the same annual routine of frightening people in the “real world.” When Jack accidentally stumbles on Christmastown, all bright colors and warm spirits, he gets a new lease on life — and he plots to bring Christmas under his control.
A Christmas Carol – The 1951 original is a granddaddy of them all in this world of cinema. You know the story, it’s been retold a million times in dinner theaters, church plays, musicals. Heck, I could include 5 remakes of this movie in this list alone. It tells the story of Ebenezer Scrooge, a curmudgeonly, miserly businessman, who has no time for sentimentality and largely views Christmas as a waste of time. However, this Christmas Eve he will be visited by three spirits who will show him the errors of his ways.
Home Alone – Another movie set during Christmas time. Does that make this a Christmas movie? I don’t know, but it sure is an iconic movie set in this snowiest of times of year. Maybe it’s the ending that makes it a real Christmas story? I’m not sure. But Home Alone tells the story of a family learning the “real meaning of Christmas” and so, I guess, it’s how we got here. Kevin gets left behind from his family’s Paris trip. His mother spends the entire movie attempting to get back to her son, all the while Kevin fights off a couple of dim-witted robbers.
It’s a Wonderful Life – This is probably the number one contender in the list for the most important Christmas movies. I’m personally not a fan, but I am sure MOST people see this as their number 1. George Bailey is considering suicide. Never mind it’s Christmas! Well, angels beginning discussing George’s life and we watch his life flashing back. George, about to jump off a bridge, saves his own guardian angel… who then shows George what the town would have looked like without him. Sort of an inverted Scrooge story.
Die Hard – My own personal favorite Christmas movie – another movie set during Christmas. A superbly gloriously-written action script that really cleanly tells the story of a family. The tightly focused scope, and the laser focused intentionality on the relationship between Holly and McClane, which for me is what makes it a Christmas movie. Plus, all the quotable Christmas music and Christmas lines. Die Hard tells the story of a New York City police officer who tries to save his estranged wife taken hostage by terrorists during a Christmas party…
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer – Literally the single scariest movie of all time. Even gives Midsommar a run for its money. I remember watching this every year as a child multiple times each season. Why? I DO NOT KNOW! Anyway, it tells the story of a young Rudolph who lives at the North Pole. His father is one of Santa’s reindeer and it is expected that Rudolph will eventually be one too. Father’s expectations, and disappointment… great nightmare fuel. However, he has a feature which is a setback and causes him to be ostracized: his red nose.
A Christmas Story Christmas – I’m about to offend like, 75% of the planet. But I ABHOR this movie. I don’t dislike it. I don’t hate it. I abhor it. I can’t even begin to tell you why. A great friend of mine – hey, Adam (I know for a fact he’s going to read this and text me a pile of expletives the moment he does) – has the leg lame cutout in his cube. Or he did. Worse, I can’t even say I’ve seen this thing front to back, but rather shotgun pellets of it have riddled my life throughout the years. Let me just say I’d rather watch Rudolph 100 times in a row than watch this movie once. Yeah. That bad. (Please send all hate mail to [email protected], thx)
Spirited – Haven’t seen this one yet, I know, I’m late to the party. But, I mean, Ryan Reynolds and Will Ferrell? Sort of seems like an obvious win. And the fact that I keep getting told I should watch it while I’m trying to workout, or work, or just live my life. So, yeah, probably a good bet. A musical version of the classic Christmas story by Charles Dickens. A miserly man who treats everyone around him with terrible selfishness finds himself on a fantastical adventure into the three phases of time: past, present, and future, in order to discover how he ended up so miserable and alone.
THiNC.’s New Favorite Christmas Movie!!
Let me just say this, as a genre, Christmas movies are kind of stupid. Think about it… what even is a Christmas movie? At the heart of it, maybe it’s that someone in the movie doesn’t believe in the “Christmas spirit” (whatever the hell that means), and they need to be reformed. It’s generally a spin on the Scrooge story. And events need to conspire to force the person to believe… or be kind… or give more… or something. The worst kind of Christmas movies are the kind where it’s about someone that doesn’t believe in Santa Claus, so we have to beat them up until they realize how stupid they were to ever stop believing. If you’ve seen the movie Hook, it’s that movie, 100%. Peter Pan grows up, and can’t be Pan because he’s forgotten his childlike faith. Bah. Whatever.
But if you want to know what my new favorite “Christmas Movie” is… I’m happy to share it with you. The GMN (Guy Movie Night) group that I occasionally see movies with (our only requirement is that stuff has to blow up… and the dumber the explosions the better.) Well, yesterday we all went to In-N-Out and then off to see Violent Night… and holy crap! hahahaha. So perfect. I’d argue that it’s maybe part parody, part straight, part Die Hard, part Home Alone, and part Santa Claus, and ALL JOHN WICK. Seriously, I was counting the dead bodies and lost track over 40. My best guess is 44? Would love someone to assist me here in getting a legitimate count of all the on-screen kills in this movie.
Literally, when Santa Claus wield a sledge hammer called Skull Crusher? You know you have found a special kind of Christmas Movie! hahahaha. And, can I say, that I would recommend you see this movie with as many people as possible? Definitely helps in cranking this insanity all the way to eleven.
Edited by: CY
