So here’s the thing about Fantastic Fest. Every year I tell myself this is the year I finally make it down to Austin, and every year life happens and I end up refreshing Letterboxd like a sad little kid with his face pressed against the candy store window. But this year I have a secret weapon. Matt, one of the regulars over on our Discord, actually went. And not like “caught a couple screenings” went. He went full marathon, absolutely soaked it in, and came back with a rating and a hot take on basically everything he saw. Think of him as our man on the ground, our guy on the street consultant. So I’m handing him the mic for each film, and then I’m going to jump in after him with my own gut reaction, which is entirely uninformed by having seen any of these yet. Just me being jealous movie after movie.
The Glorious Dead – 2/5 – an interesting idea let down by a haphazard story and an inexplicable shootout. A great thought: What does the day after the Rapture look like? But everything else lets the premise down. It feels like a quarter of the film is on the cutting room floor that explains why people are doing what they do. Just not worth the time.
Taylor’s Take: Okay, the day after the Rapture is SUCH a good premise. Like, who’s left, who’s mad about it, who’s quietly checking their own theology? That’s a movie I want. Which makes “a quarter of the film is on the cutting room floor” hurt even more. I might still watch it just to argue with it.
A Prayer For the Dying – 3.5/5 – A portrait of a man trying to do the right thing in the face of a disease outbreak in his town. Set just five years after the Civil War, the sheriff/undertaker/preacher deals with his own psych issues while also trying to take care of his town in the face of a spreading contagion. Well done, with a little too much of a surreal touch for my taste. And it’s exactly as cheery as it sounds. Trigger warning for everything that may make someone sad.
Taylor’s Take: Post Civil War plague drama is right in my wheelhouse, but “exactly as cheery as it sounds” is a fair warning. Saving this one for a rainy Tuesday when I’m emotionally prepared.
Godmother – 3.5/5 – What starts as fairly normal slasher fare takes a left turn for act 3. Fun small budget film that doesn’t try to punch its weight class, and while not revolutionary, it’s fun.
Taylor’s Take: I have a soft spot for movies that know exactly what weight class they’re in and then throw a haymaker in act 3 anyway. A slasher that takes a left turn? Sign me up. Sometimes fun is the whole the one and only point.
Ghost in the Cell – 4/5 – Indonesian (subs) BEST PICTURE: HORROR. A movie that goes through a few genres, making for an interesting ride. If you’re willing to go through poor environmental fighters to fighting corruption to gory slasher to men in prison to martial arts to comedy, you’re gonna have a lot of fun, and I was willing. Well made and entertaining, it hits all the beats it aims for.
Taylor’s Take: Environmental activism to corruption to gory slasher to prison drama to martial arts to comedy? Hahaha – what a genre buffet and I’m grabbing my plate. Indonesian genre cinema has been on an absolute tear lately, so I’m not shocked this took Best Picture: Horror. Definitely in.
Adult Supervision – 4/5 – Swedish (subs) – BEST PICTURE WINNER: NEXT WAVE. Man, am I happy I don’t have children. A three day field trip to an island with a class of 13-14 year olds chaperoned by three dads goes exactly as poorly as you expect. Old trauma, new trauma, the shit children do because they know you can’t beat them, it’s horrible – as intended. I get that people love their kids, but maybe less after this.
Taylor’s Take: Matt, the line “Man, am I happy I don’t have children” is the most efficient review I’ve ever read. Three dads, an island, thirty 13 year olds, three days. As a parent, this sounds less like a horror movie and more like a documentary. I’m going to watch it and then go apologize to every chaperone I’ve ever met.
Phreaker – 4/5 – BEST PERFORMANCE: Cole Asher Phillips. A very good film about a blind teenage phone phreaker set in the early 2000s. Starring a blind actor in his first role, this is a touching story about someone searching for human connection and our drive for control and power over our surroundings. A solid film well worth your time.
Taylor’s Take: Okay, this sounds BRILLIANT. A blind teenage phone phreaker in the early 2000s, played by a blind actor in his first role, who then walks away with Best Performance? That’s the kind of story that makes festivals worth it. Also, as a guy who has spent way too much of his life inside computers, phreaking lore is catnip. Very in.
Kick On – 3/5 – An Australian film about four friends who have their worst night partying at a mobster’s penthouse. There’s nothing else I can say that will make you want to see it any more or less. You know if you want to kill an hour and a half with this already.
Taylor’s Take: Hahaha. Really nice litmus test there Matt! hahaha. “You know if you want to kill an hour and a half with this already” is solid. You bring the freeze dried skittles and I’m 100% in. Otherwise, I’m gonna have to think about this one.
Future Tense – 4.5/5 – A great South African time travel film that touches on race, class, partnership, and what you’re willing to do to make the world a better place. I need to see it again to parce some of the strings, and I’m excited to do so. It’s a very small cast (most of the film is just our intrepid couple), and they do a good job of carrying the film. Highly recommend.
Taylor’s Take: Matt, you had me at “I need to see it again to parse some of the strings.” You KNOW that’s my love language. A South African time travel film about race, class, partnership, and what you’d sacrifice to fix the world, carried by basically two actors? That smells like a future taylorholmes.com mindjob discussion post. This is definitely the highest priority on the list. I’m setting a reminder now.
Girl in the Night – 4/5 – (Slovenian sub) – BEST PICTURE WINNER: MAIN. A surreal film about two people who band together to fight crime, but one says she can fly and the other has secretly stolen her bicycle. You have to be ready for very little dialogue, and a lot of absurdist humor (which does land). If you can focus for its runtime, you’ll get a commentary on friendship, trust, and purpose.
Taylor’s Take: This logline kicks. I’m sorry, what?! Very little dialogue and absurdist Slovenian humor that actually lands? Best Picture: Main makes total sense now and I’m totally in for this one.
The Squirrel – 4/5 – (Finnish sub) In a future where everyone is protected from stress and anything that may cause upset, a designer of robot animals discovers a real squirrel. Animals have long since been removed because they cause unpredictable problems, emotions, and filth. Romantic relationships are also outlawed, for the same reasons. If you’re willing to run with the premise you get a commentary on the purpose of life and living, or human contact and partnership, and what matters. Definitely worth it.
Taylor’s Take: Never would I have ever imagined this movie pitch would have been agreed to being made. No way. Finnish dystopian squirrel cinema. What a time to be alive.
Game Master – 4/5 – (French sub) A father tries to find his daughter at a giant LARP. A fun comedy about friendship, play, and family. Role Models-esque, with all the time in the LARP. Not going to set the world on fire, but it’s a good time spent.
Taylor’s Take: Set ANY movie amongst LARPers and I’m here for it. Not every movie needs to set the world on fire, sometimes you just want a good time with foam swords. Count me in.
Into the Sky – 4/5 – Sam Richardson and David Cross doing Sam and David things. A fun film about a man who keeps getting abducted by aliens and the effect it has on his life. A strong performance by Sofia Black-D’Elia helps this be a fun rom-com with the aliens just being a vehicle to create absurdity. It’s a fun one, especially if you enjoy the actors involved.
Taylor’s Take: I personally wasn’t a huge fan of Sam Richardson in Ted Lasso – but he can act… so maybe? David Cross is a plus from me though. Like the idea of a guy who keeps getting abducted by aliens… nice backdrop. Could be fun.
Red Snow – 2.5/5 – (Finnish subs) An over-the-top 70s style film about a vampire, a vampire hunter, and the family caught in their struggle. It doesn’t make a ton of sense but it is gory, funny, and goes for it at each opportunity. If you go in looking for that, you’ll rate it higher than I did.
Taylor’s Take: It surprises me how much American audiences disdain subtitles. But a Finnish Vampire Hunter movie? Okay. Especially if it doesn’t make any sense.
Alpha Gang – 1.5/5 – Woof. A group of aliens come to 1930s? Eastern? Europe? as a biker gang. All of this movie feels like a bad parody of Monty Python or 50s beach movies or a cult film, that misses by a lot. It fires enough bullets that there are funny lines, but this is just a bad film. It tries too hard, tries to give some explanations but shouldn’t…. Just hated it. Some folks will say it’s so bad it’s good, but it tries too hard to be camp and bad, and that’s not how you get to “so bad it’s good”, that’s how you get to just bad. Drawn and Quartered – LOVED Visit Into Irradiated Land and The Penguin (also French). Pre-Parenting won Best Short and was also very good.
Taylor’s Take: Ha! Aliens arriving as a biker gang in 1930s(?) Eastern(?) Europe(?) is a sentence that contains more question marks than answers. And you’re dead right about camp. You can’t TRY to be so bad it’s good, the movie has to believe in itself. Hard pass from me, but thank you for taking that bullet for all of us.
Play House – 4.5/5 – This microbudget closed box film won the first Fantastic Pitches last year. That gave them 365 days and $100,000 to make their film and premiere it here this year. I came in with low expectations but high hopes and I needn’t have. It is a great, tight horror about a bunch of VHS tapes of a kids show that no one has ever heard of. It’s well acted, with a cast that plays their roles beautifully. I hope this finds a wide audience and vaults the production team to larger opportunities. Really good “haunted house” film.
Taylor’s Take: Oh how I love giving brilliant outsiders a chance. How many great ideas start with … ‘Huh, what could be on these old VHS tapes??!?’ Dying to get a chance to watch this one.
Death of a Yellow Bird – 2/5 – Man, this is a single actor in a cabin in the woods, and if the character wasn’t such an obliviously self-centered shit of a husband and father I’d have liked this a lot more. The end reveal isn’t much of a surprise, nor can I understand why it gives closure. The atmosphere is very well done, and the tension and haunting are well done, but the overarching plot and the fact this guy operates rewind and pause on a VCR without missing his target over a dozen times (including pausing on a specific frame without using step-by-step!) just pulled me out.
Taylor’s Take: Huh. Closed box? Single actor? VCR engaged? Sounds fantastic. I’m really intrigued. But yeah, if he’s a pain in the ass, then why would you want to stick it out with this guy? Hrmm.
Compliance – 2/5 – Not gonna lie, they had me in the first half. A Screenlife style film about a woman trying to be a good person, finding out she’s under constant surveillance. I really went for the ride until the last 30 minutes where the director decided to screech the sound and just make crazy choices in what I think was an effort to push the edginess instead of just finishing the story. Just straight off a cliff. To its credit, it does feel like a film you’ll only see at Fantastic Fest.
Taylor’s Take – This actually sounds fantastic to me. It’s definitely a great setup… and feels like a perfect script for a low budget indie car crash. Especially if it goes in the direction of Funny Games??
Half – 5/5 – (Indian sub) Indian film about sibling daywalkers who take their revenge after they are attacked by a rural gang. Graphic fights and an amazing soundtrack. I loved (almost) everything about this film. It never fails to take the action and heart up a notch. Can not recommend enough.
Taylor’s Take: okay. You talked me into it. Hahaha.
Little Doors – 2.5/5 – A surreal film about a relationship during the end of the world. I’m still not totally clear on how the general allegory holds together for the last 30 minutes, but if you’re looking for a take on relationships and how we close ourselves off from each other, this gives it with an SF bent.
Taylor’s Take – seems solid? I’ll definitely give it a shot. I’m curious actually.
King Fu Deadly – 3.5/5 – A fun Irish Kung Fu coming of age buddy film, which says most of what you need to know about it. Fun fight scenes, great Irish feel, it’s fun. Left me with Big Trouble in Little China and The Last Dragon vibes, which is a positive.
Taylor’s Take – Big Trouble!? Hahaha. Okay. I haven’t thought about that movie in decades. But man did I enjoy it… so yes, this sounds great.
Wild Horse Nine – 5/5 – This year’s One Battle After Another. Incredible performance by Malkovich. An excellent (and unsubtle) critique of the CIA and western influence in general. Beautifully shot and expertly written.
Taylor’s Take – I’ve heard amazing things about this movie. Just over and over again. The trailer looks hilarious. These actors working together? The concept is brilliant. I’m 100% in on this one.
Attack on Paradise (nee Paradise) – 3/5 – (French sub) A “fight your way up the tower” film set in a Belgium apartment building. Good fights, drags some in the middle. The protagonists get a fair bit of plot armor and don’t seem to care much for friends and allies, which took me out a bit. Fine, fun fight film though.
The Birthday Party – 3.5/5 – A bleak home invasion style film where some old acquaintances crash Nora’s 37th birthday. It keeps the creep factor and anticipation high, but I didn’t feel like it had a lot new to show, and I was dissatisfied with the ending. You won’t hate the time you spend if you enjoy the genre.
Taylor’s Take – I’m having a hard time reading this one from you Matt. Is this like The Invitation? Or more like Dinner With Bernice??!? I mean, either would be fantastic. But a birthday party crashing movie could go a million different directions.
Posthumous – 4/5 – I’m likely being generous here, because they really do try to give a neat plot twist in the explanation which is more than I expected. The 37 jump scares were also more than I expected. After number four I just started ignoring the setups. I reserve the right to change my rating after more consideration.
Taylor’s Take – Okay!? I’m in. Jump Scares or not. But this sounds great. You didn’t give us much – but I’m curious anyway.
The Cycle – 3.5/5 – This is a much higher rating than I expected a Shudder original to be getting from me. A film that runs as a procedural style CSI and turns into a creature feature has a solid story, good acting, and decent effects. It loses its way a bit at the end, but all in all it’s a fun watch.
Taylor’s Take – CSI/Creature Feature? X-files here we come! Yes, totally in for this one.
No Way Down (nee Kraken)- 1.5/5 – French “go into the haunted building and clear it out” film with a little Attack the Block/Raid vibes, but not delivered upon. Nothing makes sense and the horror is all volume and jump scares. A couple of graphic kills if that’s what you’re looking for, but ultimately you’ve seen this done better. A disappointment for me. A small amount of coherence in the script or backstory would have gone a long way.
Taylor’s Take – Hrm. Yeah, sounds like it could have been fun.
Donkey Princess – 3.5/5 – (Chilean sub) A fairy tale told with an overlay of animation, puppetry, stop motion, live action, and anything else they can use. Giving strong OA vibes, it is about a princess who lives through different times hoping for different things. A look at family, love, loss, and what do you wish for. The ending didn’t land for me as much as I hoped, but it’s still a beautiful film. Recommend.
Taylor’s Take – Oh yeah, okay… WHAT? puppets and stop motion and the OA? hahahaha. Fun.
Bloody Tennis – 2.5/5 – Damn it, Shudder. You used to make bad movies that went completely off the rails at the end. Now you make interesting movies that lose the thread in service of gore or shock at the end. Susperia meets Yellowjackets with tennis, but the movie doesn’t give a shit about tennis. Nonsensical story (most teenis camps with worldwide acclaim depend on repeat attendance. Not this one…. And {spoilers, but come on, you’re not gonna watch for the plot} the top student gets a wild card at Wimbledon. Our protagonist loses a match; wins another by forfeit; is down a set and 4-1 in the second but rallies by using distraction on her opponent; and let’s just say her tactics in the final match won’t fly in a major. You’re sending her to fucking Wimbledon!?! GTFO. It was a 3.5 till Shudder did its Shudder thing, but if you’re here for the camp, you might have added a point instead of subtracting it.
Taylor’s Take – I mean, I can’t even get past the movie’s title. Hahaha. Waht? I’m just curious how the heck.
