1st Annual Christmas List for Geeks

1st Annual Christmas List for Geeks

Curious what to get the Geek Guy You Love (GGYL)?  Well, I have geek credentials coming out my ears.  If you would like me to flaunt my Geek Cred for you, I could.  For example, I recently wrote a program that would let me write my own choose your own adventure book from scratch.  See?  Geek.  I once created a heat map in excel that data mined hundreds of pages of data to help me help choose which timeshare weeks were purchase worthy.  See?  Geek.  Por exemplo, I created a Word Macro once that I infected a fellow co-worker’s computer with, that politely informed him that he’d just stepped on a land mine and died in a fiery inferno.  (I am not going to explain, it was a game we played… SEE, you can’t understand geek.  Just trust me on these picks already!)  Maybe it would make more sense if you watched this:

Anyway, whether you understand that or not, I’ve got 21 amazing ideas that will just spontaneously blow your guy’s mind. Promise.

gift1 Do it Yourself Useless Box – $44.99
You don’t get this box.  And that’s ok.  A box that turns itself, literally, off?!?  But, why?  Don’t ask why.  Just buy it.  Can I point out the fact that your husband will have to build it himself is all apart of the draw here.  He’ll need a soldering kit even to build this sucker.  Come on, that makes it even more awesome.
gift5 Cona Siphon Vacuum Brew – $209
Cona, out of the UK, has been making vacuum brewers since before World War II, and the design has remained unchanged. The Cona Vacuum Brewer is the home vacuum brewer against which others are compared. This one is not a stovetop variety; instead, it is heated by a spirit lamp fueled with denatured alcohol. As seller Sweet Maria’s says: “it’s the brewing method for romantics.” The classic size D maker is $215 (a smaller size C is available for $209) at Sweet Maria’s.
jj-abrams-s-book-cover S by J.J. Abrams hardback – $23.95
We couldn’t stop going on and on and on about this book last year.  But that doesn’t mean you bought it.  And even if you did, I’m certain you didn’t buy it in hardback like I told you to.  I know I wouldn’t have, except for the fact that the entirety of the experience would have been RUINED. I mean, other than that, it would have been fine.  I’m sure.  Buy the book.
GIFT2 Bottle opener – $14.35
This is the single coolest bottle opener ever.  “But its a piece of wood, a nail, and a couple magnets?  I’m not spending $14.35 and flipping shipping for that!  Not happening.”  Oh no, I won’t even lower myself to explain. I’m just going to point you at this video link.  And then I expect you back with an apology pronto.
gift15 Upstream Color by Shane Carruth – $14.35
There wasn’t a movie I loved more last year than Upstream Color.  I defy you to name one movie better.  I mean, other than Transformers Age of Extinction.  I mean, OTHER THAN THAT ONE.  Of course.  This is another item I went on and on and on about.  I actually liken the mood of this movie to Interstellar… but better.  Yeah.  I just did that.
gift21 iBell – $41
We all know that all geeks use their iPhones as an alarm clock.  It is uber convenient. But on the morning after an epic late night playing Destiny?  Its definitely not going to be loud enough to get you out of bed. This is where the iBell comes in to give you that classic metal ringing that remind you of traditional alarm clocks.  Guaranteed to get that lazy geek butt out o’ bed!
gift3 NERF® Combat Creatures TerraDrone – $34.99
Nerf takes battle to a whole new level with the Nerf Combat Creatures TerraDrone. This remote control Attacknid robot walks on its spider-like legs and has a chamber that can fit all 12 of the included darts. No matter where the enemy is, you can shoot off darts in any direction and at all different angles. Darts can travel up to 45 feet. Requires AA batteries, sold separately. For your geek kid ages 8 and up.
gift4 Chemex Ottomatic – $350
When you don’t want to brew by hand a single cup – and who’s with me here – no one does, you have the Chemex Ottomatic.  It’s sort of like the Bruvelo coffee maker, but made for Chemex carafes of any size — you simply add water, measure out some coffee into the cone filter atop the carafe, and turn the machine on.
gift6 Starwars on Earth Prints – $25
Stirring scenes from American history, meet stirring scenes from American sci-fi. This set of 4 Star Wars prints from Thirteenth Floor pits some of the Empire’s worst villains against some of our own greatest war heroes. Each of the 11″ x 17″ explorations of an alternate reality…or what really happened during WWII…is printed on 100lb matte card stock, and can be purchased individually for $10 a pop, or as a set for $25.
gift16 Coherence – $34.99
This movie costs $34.99, that’s just how cool this movie is.  It cost like a buck ninety five to make.  But to you? No.  That’ll be $34.99 thanks.  Hahah.  Brilliant.  And you know what?!  It’s totally worth it.  I actually own two separate copies because I love it so much.  But whatever you do… don’t read my review first. Holy cow.  Don’t do that.
gift7 Han Solo Life Size Frozen Carbonite Sculpture – $7000
This particular sculpture for a geek would be pwn-age.  Need a geek to hack North Korea for you in retaliation for anything… anything in particular?  This is what you need to buy your geek.  Seriously.  Because if you give this to me?  I will hack North Korea back.  I will actually build them an internet to hack, and then hack it.  I will swim to North Korea, Build them an internet, and then hack them.  Yes I would.
gift9 Han Solo Life Size Frozen Carbonite Sculpture – $7.95
Can’t afford the 7,000 dollar life size model?  Then what about the $7.99 version?  The ice cube tray version.  The 7 ice cubes in a tray version of Han Solo FROZEN (get it) in carbonite version.  Ok, so they are lame in comparison to the life size version, but any respectable geek would completely weird out if you gave them these. Promise.

Portal 2 Aperture Laboratories Messenger Bag – $59.99
The Portal Aperture Labs Messenger Bag is the epitome of Portal and Aperture Labs! A scientist on the go needs functionality as well as appearances, and this Messenger Bag provides. The outside flap is a brilliant orange with the Aperture Labs logo. The inside has a series of pouches and zippers in the middle with the Portal blue guy around it! The Portal Aperture Labs Messenger Bag is a great place to keep your office supplies, electronics, and fictitious baked goods.
gift10 Heisenberg Cutting Board – $29.95
Get it?  Let’s Cook?  Right?  Brilliant.  I know.  Enlist the aid of the world’s best cook by prepping your meals using the Heisenberg cutting board. This one of a kind kitchen accessory is made using durable bamboo wood and comes decorated with an image of Walter White’s iconic alter ego on the board’s surface.
gift11 Rubik’s Cube Mini Fridge – $149.95
Oh man.  If I had had one of these in high school?!?  Hahaha.  Between that and my Amiga baby!  I would have been the cat’s meow.  Only thing better?  Would be if you had to solve it to get into your cold, tasty beverages. Brilliance regardless.  
gift12 Banksy Light Switch Decal – $9.61
Ok, so the original board wasn’t art for a light switch.  And when Banksy did his it originally said, “Laugh now, but one day we’ll be in charge.”  Which is rife with so much more political intrigue and dissidence.  But regardless… this light switch decal will say that your uber-geek is not only artsy, but also a bit of a dissident.  And who doesn’t love a dissident yet lovable uber geek?
gift14 Blackwing 602 Pencils – $22.95
A favorite of artists, animators, writers and musicians around the world, the Palomino Blackwing 602 has been lauded by many who have used it. Praised by Alex Beam of The Boston Globe and Mark Frauenfelder of Boing Boing among others, the Palomino Blackwing 602 features a firm and smooth graphite core that is ideal for writers and everyday users, and helps it deliver on its promise of “Half The Pressure Twice The Speed.”
gift17 Millennium Falcon Rug – $99.95
Throughout his career, Han Solo has had to do a ton of things to survive. Sometimes, all he has to do is disguise himself (or his ship or his cargo) enough, and he can pass right by the authorities. Like that one time he was about to be surrounded by a squadron of Stormtroopers, so he turned the Millennium Falcon into a rug. And after the heat left, he turned it back. To celebrate that event, we bring you the Millennium Falcon Printed Rug.
Jeremy Geddes Jeremy Geddes Print – $250 – $1200
Personally, I haven’t a clue how well a print from Jeremy Geddes would go over with your geeked out loved one.  But for me specifically… buy me a Geddes, and forget about it.  Slave labor for life.  You would have to consider that I’m pretty much a pansy when it comes to manual labor and what not.  But if it involves thinking.  I’m your man.

Gunnar Glasses – $79 – $150
Geeks sunbathe in front of their screens.  So much so, eye fatigue is not just a real thing, its guaranteed.  All those hours of World of Warcraft can really take a toll.  But Gunnars seriously take the strain away.  Not to mention they are uber.  Trust me.  These are seriously legit in Geek-world.
Lockitron – $179
Opening your house with your iPhone is about the coolest thing imaginable these days for a geek.  I mean, besides getting a date with the Weird Science gal.  Besides that.  Not even in the driveway yet, bam, unlocked.  Genius.  Forgot to lock?  Bam, locked.  Genius.  Next step? iPhone operated blenders baby.

So, this post was actually just one big ruse.  And apparently my wife was like, seriously?  Sense when do you care about gifting options for all of Geek-dom?  This is definitely for me and for me alone!

Well played Mrs. Holmes.  Well played.

Until next year, when I let you look in on my 1st 2nd Annual Christmas List for Me Geeks!!